Sonnet 130 meets Nedarim 66b

My house/wife's eyes are wider than the sun
A goose's feet more flat than her two feet.
If hairs be flax, black flax her strands, each one.
As bellies bloat, so hers had much to eat.

I have seen ears hang low or stick out far
But hers are measured twice the normal size
Some passages remain a bit ajar
But not the nostrils sealed beneath her eyes.

I'd love to hear her speak yet well I know
That lips so thick can't make a pleasing sound.
And though I never saw a goddess go
My blemished wife could please no man in town.

And yet, I think my Lichluchit as rare
As any she belied with false compare.